royal-high: a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work
baboushkat: 2 seconds of this played before it crashed and i was already crying with laughter.
mooliesauce: ellieiero: you know in like 20 or 30 years or so theres gonna be a section in history books dedicated to this time period where gays were fighting for their right to marry and suffering from discrimination and the kids learning about it in class are going to be disgusted by the mere fact that gays had to even try to fight for what was rightfully theirs I think about this a lot
fullmetalfisting: one time in high school i didnt read the assigned book and i was like fuck it imma write this essay anyway and i had no idea what the book was even about or who the characters were so i just spewed out some shit about archetypes and the teacher came up to me after class and told me i was the only student who truly understood the book
plasticinepeople: jpierrepontcriss: my mom was pulling into a parking space today and she asked “am i relatively straight?” and i said “i think that’s something you need to decide for yourself” and she told me to walk home
natured: I was standing in line at dairy queen and I saw an elderly lady crying because she didn’t have enough money to pay for her small blizzard, so I bought her a large and helped her out to her car, and she cried and said ” I hope god made someone just for you out in the world so that they can treat you as special as you are” and I am sobbing right now.
psychoticpingouins: 48 years ago a girl said “oh fuck me” to her best friend while walking in the street, a guy who randomly passed by answered by “let me at least buy you dinner first”. I present to you my grandparents, in love since then and celebrating their 47 years of marriage today.
thediagonallie: when I was in high school my AP english teacher told us we weren’t allowed to eat in class so I took that as a personal challenge to see what the most ridiculous thing I could eat in class without getting caught was so I started bringing soup to class and as soon as I’d crack the lid of my thermos the tiniest bit this football player that sat like 3 rows in front of me would...
does anybody ever stop and think about how many people have probably talked shit about you unknowingly like when you consider how much you talk about other people with your friends do you just ever think about how many bad things other people have definitely said about you
malijuanastyles: i was sitting in the bathroom today when like 5 girls walked in and i stopped pooping right away cause i didn’t want them to hear me but then i thought why is taking a shit so bastardized today like why cant i poop in peace in the privacy of my own stall without caring if people listen to the flop flop plop plop sploosh sploosh like damn just sing along to the ploop blop and...
internetexplorers: errorsanitynotfound: internetexplorers: why hasn’t anyone offered my parents 5 camels for my hand in marriage yet what am i doing wrong its because you are worth at least 10 camels and they just cant afford you this is the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me
your-pal-lindsay: thesmoshfangirl: chinchillaghosts: wivernryder: chinchillaghosts: heyfunnie: why is bob short for robert how does one get ‘billy’ out of ‘william’? How in hell do you get “Dick” from “Richard”? you ask him nicely you ask him nicely i have been waiting for yEARS FOR THIS POST TO COME BACK YOU DONT UNDERSTAND